To All The Months I’ve Hated Before

In an exclusive interview with broken blue bubbles, Mithila Menezes, a 20 year old cynic/romantic, comes clean about the year that was 2018. 

In unminced words, 2018 was a lot like 2015. However, I’m proud of the way I handled stuff in 2018, as compared to the way I dealt with (or rather, did not deal with) stuff in 2015. Of course, I could not have done this without the support of some of the awesomest people I’ve met this year. This interview is dedicated to them.

Let’s get right into the interview.

Q. What are you grateful for?
A: Even though things didn’t turn out the way I hoped they would, I’ve got a ton of things to be grateful for this year. For friends, long-lost and new. You have taught me new lessons from old mistakes and offered me a chance to make new mistakes to learn from. For family, for understanding me even though I am as clammed up as an oyster around you. For teachers, who helped me succeed academically, beyond my wildest dreams. For colleagues, who inspire me to try out new Excel shortcuts as well as encourage me to take up full-fledged challenges.Q

Q. What’s the coolest thing that happened this year?
A: I’ve made friends in the most un-Mithila way ever. I’ll save the personal stories for the “Close Friends” on Instagram. 😛 #SarcasmAlert #CloseFriendsAreAMyth

Q. Have your views about friendship changed in this year?
A: Earlier, my idea of a perfect friend included an unrealistic expectation of the said friend sharing ALL their problems and sorrows to me. Why? Because it made sense. I shared ALL my problems and sorrows with the said friend and hence expected that he/she/they would reciprocate.

This year I understood that it’s not necessary for the above to be true. It’s totally upto the said friend to disclose whatever they want to and keep mum about things they don’t wanna share. It’s not up to me to blame myself for “not being trustworthy enough” or “being a bad friend”. There could be many reasons why the said friend chose not to tell me stuff: it’s painful for them to reminisce it, they think it’s unnecessary to give me deets about stuff or (the most possible explanation) it’s probably unintentional. More importantly, I know that I will be there for my friends, irrespective of whether they trust me at 75% or 100% or even 150%.

Q. Tell us about your GoodReads challenge for this year. Wasn’t 100 books too ambitious?
A: Tell me about that. :/
But before you judge me, understand why I chose the magical number of 100 books. My target for 2017 was 50 books. And I ended up reading 75 books. So I thought to myself, why not?
Things clearly didn’t pan out the way I wanted them to.

I experienced a terrible reading + writing slump this year and decided to cut myself some slack and give up the challenge altogether. And FYI, I read 66 books this year. Which is not pretty bad, eh?

And before you ask me, yes, I’m not gonna take up the challenge in 2019. Instead, I’m planning to participate in a Book Bingo of my own design and creation. Okay, I read up on previous/current book bingos for inspiration. Any way, the book bingo seems like a good challenge for me, considering my bookish goals for 2019: focus on reading, forget all the other crap.

Q. So tell us about your latest TV show obsession. Can’t wait for 10th January, can you?
A: TOTALLY!!!!!!!!! Brooklyn Nine-Nine is bae.

Also, let me take a moment to say that I’m a Charles Boyle. A cheese-burst pizza full of emotions. As loyal as a pimple that won’t go away. Some days, this thought depresses me. “WHY AM I SUCH A CLINGY TEDDY BEAR? When will I stop being so codependent???” I yell at myself for the umpteenth time.

However, on some days, I feel that this emotional vulnerability is a gift. My superpower, if you’re feeling generous with the compliments. After all, there HAS to be another idiot like me in this world who’d appreciate me and my Frankenstein-ness, right? RIGHT???!!!!

2018 has been a pendulum of me going back and forth on these same lines. Hating myself for being an emotional fool even after so many bad learning experiences. Loving myself for being so empathetic and caring despite of everything that has happened. 2019 may be the year I change from a Boyle to a Linetti (that’s the dream, baby. That’s the dream). Or maybe even a Kevin? I could get used to that. 2019 may also be the year I embrace my Boyle with open arms, flaws and imperfections and everything.

I’m really curious to see which road 2019 takes.

Q. What are your goals for 2019, other than bingeing B99 till you go blind?
A: Get my life back on track. Be the super awesome person Gina Linetti would want me to be.

Q. What are your plans for Mithila Reviews Books?
A: I have decided not to accept any review copies from publishers and authorsin 2019. I will be requesting books on NetGalley and reviewing them on NetGalley and GoodReads, and if the book is really exceptional and noteworthy, on my blog. Also, I will be reviewing books from my own collection at a leisurely pace.

I’d like to take a minute to thank you, my readers and ardent fans, for all the love and support you have given me, right from Day 1. I hope to continue producing the unique reviews you chose to follow when you hit the subscribe button.

Q. Rapid fire round!

  1. TV shows you binged and loved this year: HTGAWM, Scrubs, B99.
  2. New and amazing authors you discovered: Pasi Ilmari Jääskeläisen
  3. What you’ll be doing tonight: Keeping up my new-found daily ritual of tackling one question a day from the Proust Questionnaire. Listening to good music. Geeking out over B99 and The Guysexual’s blog. 
  4. Paraphrase this entire year into one song by your favourite artist: “The Way I Am” by Charlie Puth.
  5. Favourite meme template of the year: Expanding Brain!

Q. What are some of the lessons you wish to carry into 2019?
A: Respect yourself first. Prioritise your own needs. Don’t allow yourself to be shoved around by the decisions made by others. Respect the decisions made by others. Don’t question your self-worth. Be happy. Find reasons to be happy. Make an effort to be happy.

Breakdowns are your mind’s way of telling you that you don’t need to keep up a facade of strength anymore, and that it’s okay to ask for help. The path to recovery has a few bad days and relapses too. That doesn’t mean you should stop trying to get better. Live for the good days, learn from the bad ones.

Care about people who care about you. Don’t run behind people who don’t spend a minute of their day worrying about you.

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2019!!!!

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One Comment Add yours

  1. Big hugs to you lovely! Sounds like 2018 was a year filled with lessons. Relationships are tough, aren’t they? And by that I mean friendships and intimate ones. I really enjoyed Brooklyn 99 and HTGAWM this year too. Also loved The Good Place. I hope 2019 is awesome for you, kinder to you but also, I hope you are kind to yourself. I love that you are choosing to respect yourself first. It’s so important! Happy New Year!

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