- The cats who reside near the Udipi Hotel totally love me. When they see me approaching, they sit up straight and start a chorus of meows that would impress a symphony conductor. I stare at their big green/grey/brown/amber/yellow eyes, the way I used to rebelliously stare at this teacher I hated a long time ago.
I resist the urge to kick them, and walk on.
- I hate people who walk and talk slowly. If you see me walking on the road, you would immediately think of the times when you used to play Snake 3 at that insanely fast speed, dodging all the rocks and snakes like lightning.
Remember that feeling of pride when you completed the required length of the snake, and approached the exit? That’s how I feel when I walk out of an overly crowded footpath.
- Mostly I’m always running when I’m walking on the road. I cannot tolerate people who walk slowly (did I already mention that?). Why do I run though? Many reasons. I don’t like bumping into people I know while walking on the road. I usually end up crossing the road and walking on the other side if I see someone I know. I’m sweaty and gross when walking, and all I want to do when I reach home is soak in a Jacuzzi I don’t own. I time my steps to the beat of the music I’m listening to, which is mostly Rock / Alternative Rock / Rap. I love to stare at the displays of shops as I pass by them in whirlwind speed.
- I think too much. Even though there’s music streaming into my ears, I still end up filtering it all out and focusing only what I’m thinking. Which has very disastrous repercussions- I end up walking right onto the road, or bumping into old grannies shopping for their daily bread.
- I judge people too much. I analyse what they’re wearing, the makeup they’ve put on, the shoes they’re wearing, the snacks they’re munching on, the shops they’re walking into, the calmness on their face, the rarity of their smiles.
- I often forget to focus on my breathing, because of the above preoccupations. So, when I do remember to this gigantic deep breath, it’s like being born for the first time. Amid the birthing sounds of blaring horns, and the stench of smog.
- I mostly think about all the awesome things I’m going to do once I reach home. Sleep. Eat. Watch my favourite TV show. Rewatch my favourite P!ATD live videos. Scroll through my Instagram feed like a maniac. Tweet like a billionaire. Read like an addict. Text my best friend. Reply to my emails.
- I love looking at the same place from a different perspective. For example, if I’ve always stared at Chandu Mithaiwala while standing on the footpath, today I’ll go and stand at the entrance of the shop diagonally opposite Chandu Mithaiwala and analyse how it looks different from the way it looks from the footpath.
This is not restricted to ‘walk home’. I do this wherever I can. I’ve been caught doing the Dhanurasana on the bedroom floor, because I wanted to look out of the window from a different angle.
- I never use my phone while walking on the road. I don’t understand people who use their phone while walking on the road. Like, you waiting for a phone call from Death or what?
- I have this crazy ability to squeeze my 60kg body into any tiny crevice available. If there are two people conversing in the middle of the road, I can float through them within the time it takes for them to say “Hi!” to each other.
- I’ve made acquaintances with this one kid who works at his father’s shop. He’s “incharge” of selling the colas and other refrigerated cold drinks, because the fridge is kept outside the shop and the father is manning the ‘galla’ inside. He’s probably the only guy in the world who remembers the name of the cold drink I purhcased yesterday. He’s also probably the only guy who goes out of his way to crack a joke and make me smile.