The Bitter Taste of Separation

Standing across the counter, he stared at her for a long time. He had trouble remembering her name. He had last visited her some thirty odd years ago. She was busy churning out orders for her customers at a constant speed. He didn’t mind the wait, as long as he could linger around, gazing at her, inhaling her strong perfume.A few patrons jostled for space around him, and he willingly allowed them to move up ahead in front of him. He had a lot of time to waste around. His services were not required anywhere since the day his criminal record was splattered with blood.

An hour past by, and the morning rush receded to two-three collegians fooling around with a naive girl, and the man himself. He cleared his throat and flattened his hair. He still couldn’t recall her name. But he decided to take a chance and approach her anyway. Delight and malice shone in his eyes. But she didn’t seem afraid.

He reached the counter, and his scraggy hands gripped the counter tightly. He looked at her longingly, “One shot of that, please.”

The barista replied, looking at the man’s grey hair, “Are you sure?”

“I’m familiar with the bitter taste.”

The barista then handed him a piping hot cup of some dark, muddy brown liquid. “Here’s your espresso, sir.”

coffee-1324126_960_720

~Flash-Fiction-Gone-Awry


Okay so this was my first attempt at #FlashFiction . I know it sucked, but I might get better at it with practice?

FYI, I have never tasted espresso in my life, and I’m surely not familiar with its bitter taste :p

Check out the prompt here: “I’m familiar with the bitter taste” and try writing a story/poem of your own this Tuesday!

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16 Comments Add yours

  1. Cathy Graham says:

    I enjoyed your story, Mithila. It didn't suck. Sure, little improvements can be made as with any story, but you did well to paint a strong scene in such a small word count. You drew me in and I wanted to know more about this mysterious and sinister character pursuing that girl. Keep writing. It's good stuff!

    Like

  2. That is short and sweet, so much expression in these few sentences. I have to try my hand at this one.

    Like

  3. Parul says:

    It's a good first attempt Mithila πŸ™‚ Write more and write often!

    Like

  4. Shalini says:

    There you go girl! Great first attempt. Write more, will you!
    P.S: I love coffee in any form! πŸ™‚

    Like

  5. No, it did not suck. It is a start. Look at it that way. You will get better at it. πŸ™‚

    Like

  6. Ls says:

    It was good Mithila.. good scene creation and good characters. You can only get better.

    Like

  7. Thank you Cathy for the guidance!
    I usually go droning on and on when I write a story. I myself am surprised at the brevity of it!

    Thanks for stopping by! πŸ™‚

    Like

  8. Thank you Indy!

    Surely do try it out.. Can't wait to read it! πŸ™‚

    Like

  9. Thank you so much, Parul!

    Yes, now that I don't have the burden of exams on my head, I will write more and often πŸ˜€

    Like

  10. Thank you so much, Shalini!
    And yes, I will write more πŸ˜€

    P.S. I love Ice Tea in any form :p

    Like

  11. I know right? It's always good to look at the positive side!

    Thank you so much, Shantala! πŸ™‚

    Like

  12. Ohmigosh Thank you so much Lata!

    All this love only inspires me to write more and get better at fiction writing! πŸ™‚

    Like

  13. Laura says:

    This is a great first attempt! It has an intriguing mystery and strong sense of setting. At first I thought the man was an old friend, but the word “malice” corrected that assumption real quick!

    Like

  14. Katie Troxel says:

    I really liked your details…made it easy to imagine the scene and seem realistic.

    Like

  15. Thank you so much, Laura!:)

    Like

  16. Thank you so much, Katie! πŸ™‚

    Like

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